Response to Brett's Memory 1, Week 3
Brett,
I agree that your use of language is impressive. And I'm not following instructions here, but I have to say anyway that I love your play with words. When you say "insomnia often fastened me to the drawing table near my window," I'm jealous that you thought to say that. You consistently use concrete images that wake up the scene and you're setting the scene more thoroughly now that Davidson made that suggestion. I think you're also following through with trimming the prose and letting the sharper language say more than it could before. Maybe you could seek out a sister scene in Indy to make a connection and keep the story moving. Also, add some reflection. What does this scene invoke for you personally? That's all I can offer. I love what you're doing. And I want to hear more about Korea.
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